The Discomfort of Being Frugal

being frugal

I’ve noticed something about myself. I am uncomfortable in high-spending situations. And this is true even when I’m not the one paying. Not long ago, a potential vendor took me to lunch at a swanky restaurant. He was paying, but I felt uncomfortable in there. I’ve been frugal for so long that spendy places give me the willies. I’ve found this to be true when we go on cruises (the fawning staff and luxurious restaurants, even though they’re included in the ticket make me uncomfortable), when I’m invited to a Christmas party being held at a country club, when I was gifted an afternoon at the spa, and even when I go to someone’s over the top McMansion


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5 Responses to The Discomfort of Being Frugal

  1. jim says:

    Oh yeah – been there, done that for about 3 decades! Here’s what worked for me. I finally realized that their need to put on a show or spend WAY more than they should was simply a reflection of their insecurities, i.e. their need to show how “wealthy” they are. Then I just figured it was something they felt a deep seated reason for doing so. Once I got there, I just “let live and let be”. Everyone has their demons. Just let it be and go with the flow. Really. Everyone is best off in their comfort zone. And those zones change – so just let everyone be in whatever zone makes them comfortable – UNLESS “those” include your children, in which case you need to make a serious stand and teach them better.

  2. tiptho says:

    Loved your comment, jim…made a lot of sense to me. well-said!

  3. audrey says:

    When I first started reading this article I thought “oh ya, a girl after my own heart” but as I got further into it, especially regarding the “used car” comment I thought, oh no wait just a minute here. I believe it’s about priorities regarding how you want to spend your hard earned money. Would I spend $70.00 on a steak? Probably never but I would definitely spend it on a specialty food item that is organic, sustainable, fairly traded etc. Do I like a nice car? yes, but I won’t spend $100.00 dollars on a pair of shoes. I know where to get the same shoes cheaper. :) My advice is kick back and enjoy living out of your box since clearly you don’t do it often. Hopefully the people who are picking up the tab won’t come crying to you when their money runs out.

  4. Gailete says:

    Sometimes that uncomfortable feeling comes from not being at all able to walk in someone else’s shoes for that type of consumption. I can’t comprehend the shop til you drop ethic, especially as now just getting groceries makes me feel like I am about to drop. I hear about how many shoes some women have and that they need a whole closet for their shoes. For one thing how do they even decide which shoes to wear and when, why don’t they just stick with the most comfortable pair? Part of the problem with me and shoes has been the total disconnect buying shoes has been for me. Ever since grade school it has been hard to find even ONE pair of shoes that fit. How can a woman find hundreds of pairs that fit???? I’m about at the point that I would spend just about anything for ONE nice, comfortable pair of all purpose shoes that will last. I don’t even have the stamina to go shopping for them and since I can’t find proper fitting shoes in stores, there is no point collecting large return shipping fees to buy them by mail. So yes, when a woman talks about all the shoes she has and needs yet another pair I am uncomfortable. Same with shopping for clothes. I make most of mine (or buy at the thrift store) and my life style currently is being mostly at home or occassional errands. Just how many garments can I need? I see budgets that give over large amounts for clothes monthly and my mind goes why? Do they really wear out their clothes that fast? My life has been so different that it is hard for me to fathom such a different lifestyle. But then I suppose that can’t understand mine either. The gracious thing is to not knock their lifestyle unless they are asking how to be frugal and at the same time talking about the latest sale they are planning on going to. Hopefully they won’t knock my lifestyle either.

  5. Kris says:

    It sounds like a perfectly logical way to live. We’ve become so used to the “more more more” mentality that it seems odd when people don’t want more. But in most countries, more isn’t an option. They just want enough. Why can’t we be satisfied by enough? I’m not opposed to capitalism, I think it’s great. But just because we can strive for more doesn’t mean we have to, does it?

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