What’s A Real Date? Day 19

cafe

Apparently, my thoughts of going to a coffee shop or hiking don’t qualify as a “real date” according to my sister. While I realize this is just another attempt by her to try to get me to spend more money in the minimum wage challenge, it did get me thinking about how one does go about determining what is a date rather than a casual meeting. This is the conversation that we had:

Sister: “Going to the coffee shop isn’t a real date.”

Me: “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

Sister: “Seriously. Going to the coffee shop is a pre-date. It’s a time to decide whether you’re compatible enough to go on a real date.”

Me: 

...

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8 Responses to What’s A Real Date? Day 19

  1. denise arneson says:

    I say you take advantage of the gift card and buy a luxury meal(Maybe treat your date). Steak, lobster or whatever, including beer. People who live on minimum wage take advantage of any opportunity, obviously your sister has never experienced prolonged money issues. According to Merriam-Webster a date is : an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially : a social engagement between two persons that often has a romantic character
    b : a person with whom one has a usually romantic date
    I don’t see any mention of dinner.

  2. Alexandria says:

    Being a cost conscious person, I don’t think I have gone on many “real dates” in my entire life. :D Your sister’s idea of a date is a “money is no object date,” if you ask me.

    I hardly ever go out for a meal with friends or anything – it’s freaking expensive. I make a very good wage these days, but I also have many other priorities. It’s a rare day when I spend the money on a nice meal out. If I were dating, the exact same rules apply. You can’t meet a compatible person pretending to be something you are not. I don’t agree with your sister in the least.

  3. LuckyRobin says:

    Okay, I consider a hike a date, but I would not advise it being a first date unless the woman has known you for some time as a friend. If this is a blind date or someone you barely know, a woman would very likely not want to go wandering in the woods, mountains, or any other secluded area with a man who is a complete stranger. That’s right up there with walking down alleys at 2 a.m. in the shady part of town. It’s a safety issue that you, as a tall male, probably don’t even think about. Whereas you know what kind of gentleman you are, a blind date would not have first hand knowledge of this, just hearsay from whover set you up. A first date should put both people at ease. A picnic in a nice, open park if the weather is warm enough would be a better option. Bowling would be good and isn’t too expensive for two people. There absolutely does not have to be a meal shared. That’s just your sister being ridiculous.

  4. Debbie M says:

    A date (the kind your sister is talking about, where you might meet a future spouse) is any meeting with someone you are romantically interested in or (at the beginning) hoping to or open to being romantically interested in. It’s any meeting where, while you are planning it or getting ready for it, you think the issue of kissing might come up. It has nothing to do with food.

    I also think that things that don’t start out as dates (like parties or group outings) can turn into dates if you end up hanging out with someone of the exciting gender in such a way that the issue of kissing might come up.

    If it’s only an issue of whether a date will come up (like you meet someone in a grocery store or on a plane), then that counts as a pre-date. Even if you both ate on the plane.

    If the sweet old lady sitting next to you on the plane buys both of your box lunches as an ice breaker, then it’s not a date or a pre-date.

  5. phantom says:

    I think most dates I’ve been on have involved eating, but if it’s a rule that dates must include full meals, I’ve been on far fewer dates than I think I have. I had plenty of dates where we went and did some activity followed by dessert or coffee with no meal involved. It didn’t mean my date and I didn’t want to spend time together, it just meant we didn’t feel like eating a meal for one reason or another.

    The first few dates any couple goes on is largely just a series of meetings to determine whether or not they want to keep meeting. So, I don’t think you can discount something as not being a date just because you’re trying to figure out if you want to date more.

    It sounds like your sister is just making up rules to make dating as expensive as possible for you. I’d make sure to have as many dates as possible involving picnic lunches and romantic homemade dinners just to show her you can follow her silly rules and still keep things inexpensive.

  6. A real date is in the eye of the beholder. That being said, you need to know who you are taking on a date, and know what they would expect. For example; if someone took your sister on a date to go hiking, should would not see that as a date, but some women might. It really depends on the conversation. For me, my wife also expected dinner at some point, and I totally messed that up on our first date. I skipped dinner, bought some ice cream when she mentioned she was hungry, and snuck her into the movies. Still not sure how that ended up in marriage, lol!

  7. mimipaula1 says:

    Jeffrey, if you were working a “real” minimum-wage job, you would certainly be allowed to accept “tips” for a job well done. It would seem to me that the gift card was given, not because your employers felt you were going hungry, but because they are appreciative of your willingness to take care of their possessions in their absence.

    Just my opinion, of course!

  8. Aleta says:

    I think going to a park and having a picnic would be a great date. It doesn’t have to be at a restaurant. You can make it as nice as you want with a tablecloth and any extras you want including candles.

    As for the gift card they do expire. You could have bought the items and kept them for future use thereby not using it in the time of your challenge. You can freeze some items and buy canned goods as well that can be used in the future.

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