Now, in my more middle years, I find myself debt free with a nice income and a nice savings cushion, butt reluctant to spend money on things that genuinely matter to me, like travel.

As I dithered about a (low-cost) trip to Rome, my mother told me this: “I regret not spending money on things like that when I was young and working. Then, I thought it was more important to save. Now, I’m too afraid to spend my principal because I can’t replace it, and I have other obligations. Just go and stop being afraid like I was.

I went. And will continue to make those types of choices now. You can always work longer, but you can’t get back your life.

I just don’t think I could blow through $300K in 6 years knowing it took my parents ten times as long to save it. But we all live with our choices. I hope you don’t find yourself in a position where you need money for anything significant someday or you may regret the spending spree. Best of luck.

Second – isn’t there a middle ground here? Your mother saved, and saved and saved, while you spent and spent and spent all at once. Each of you were “all in” in your decision. Why not the strategy of spending a bit and cross off a couple dreams off the bat, save most to replenish and go for round 2…then rinse and repeat?

I’m glad I had a chance to experience some of my life dreams, but not as many as I hoped for before illness set up camp in my body. Would I have saved the money instead if I knew my working life would have been cut short? Maybe. Maybe I would have done lots of things differently, but it is too late to go back and change the past. Forgive your mom, thank her for the gift she left you and move on.

Now that I have the bug out of my system to a certain extent, I can focus on other dreams I would love to see come to fruition. They’re more along the lines of goals, actually. And with those goals come the need for money. So, I need to keep saving until I have enough to do this.

In the meantime, I will not cut cable service. I enjoy being home after working hard and being on my feet for hours at a time. That is how I veg out. I do watch more educational shows than anything else. I have cut cell phone cost by 90%. Internet, tv and phone is bundled. I am saving $55.00 a month as a result. Things like this can add up to a tidy sum after a while.

We all have our own individual ways to do what’s necessary to live frugally. So, what works for one person isn’t necessarily going to work for me. Lastly, I am working on being a hyper-miler to save gas. So far, so good.

Nothing wrong with being frugal, but by all means, make use of what you saved before you pass away. You only live once, as goes the old cliche.

What matters the most in this world is the relationships we form, not the wealth we amass. We come into this world with nothing, and we will leave it with nothing — except for the relationships we’ve formed.

I just don’t buy the argument some set for that ‘she might have needed that 1.5 million’. She could have made most of her dreams come true off of the interest. The problem there is she was more committed to leaving the largest possible estate than to fulfilling any of her own dreams.

I see this problem in my own parents. They are more worried about leaving an inheritance than they are about buying a plane ticket to come see me. Last time they were here, I told them that I simply want to enjoy them while they’re alive, rather than have any of their stinky money when they’re dead. They owe us children nothing! My wishes are for them to spend their money LIVING! All of it. I want to be able to take their last 40k, bury them, and smile because they truly LIVED their life.

I think it’s all about priorities. Your mom must have felt that she was more comforted with the thought of having a large sum put away. I know lots of people who prefer this line of thought.

As what the others commented, it’s a matter of striking a balance between saving and living a full life.

It all boils down to what we value the most.

One of the wild things I did on vacation was to purchase a piece of art. It was only $185, but it was so breathtakingly beautiful, that I cry just remembering it. I want my life to be filled with beauty, and having that on my wall will make me smile every morning. To someone else this was a waste a money. But in my small universe, it was empowering and enriching.

You see, frugality is not just saving for retirement, or a nebulous future that may not come. Its also getting the things that you really want now. Its a decision making mechanism that lets you decide what is important to you and to set out and get the things that really matter. For some of us, it may be staying at home with our kids, it may be surviving as a single person on a limited income, and it may be the goal of an early retirement with sufficient funding to meet some unrealized dreams. It doesn’t mean we don’t go for short term goals, or live only hoping for a future that may be cut short by an accident or heart attack.

I’m glad you have gone for meeting dreams. That is glorious and good. And I’m glad you used the money from your mom to meet some of those dreams.

Just don’t forget future dreams too. Try to take care of yourself in all ways and with balance.

Thank you for your share. It touched me.

But, I also have seen what happens when you don’t enjoy yourself while you are still able to. My mother’s father died at the age of 55, worked hard all of his life, and never got to enjoy it. My “nana” did though! She never worked much in her life and now is in a 55+ apartment complex. She is on her third relationship and HE doesn’t look like he is long for this world either.

Having said all of the above, I do know what it is like to save money AND enjoy it, and I have my Gram to thank for that (my father’s mother). She and Grampy both worked hard all their lives, grew up during the depression era, but knew how to enjoy themselves. I was just thirteen years old when my grandfather died, but I remember Gram was always a saver and would take some money out and we would travel and have fun with it while she was alive. Sadly, she died in ’95 of Alzheimer’s, but I can honestly say that she enjoyed her life to the fullest and I carry many of her life lessons with me to this day.