Divorce and Finances: Lessons of Being A Financial Single

It doesn’t take an economic downturn to challenge the best financial wizards – it can be something as simple as the end of a relationship.

When two people separate, their financial lives separate as well. Each person assumes more financial obligations while each has to learn to live within his or her means again.

When I got divorced years ago, it was a shock to me how it took almost a year to feel financially stable again. I thought I was someone who was prepared for the realities of being a financial single, but the sheer cost of the changes took me by surprise and used up money I didn’t have.

First, last and deposit, oh my! Moving into a new place is enough worry, but the

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2 Responses to Divorce and Finances: Lessons of Being A Financial Single

  1. Diane says:

    This is an area where I have more experience than I’d like!

    I live in a community property state and was forced to file bankruptcy due to my ex-husband’s personal & company debt of over $700K.

    I kept the house, including the IRS Tax Lien. Couldn’t sell it or refinance or I would lose everything. The IRS would not negotiate a settlement with me, as they wanted HIM to file taxes first. I waited it out & after 10 years the lien expired & I have the house free & clear.

    I also kept the two young kids, and spent 12 years fighting to collect child support from an ex who refused to get a job (he was “self-employed”)!
    Finally collected that as well…

    I could write a book about the financial difficulties of divorce!

    On the positive side, after years of struggling I now have a house that’s more than 2/3 paid for, and no other debt. My taxes are paid & I have a good credit rating.

    We’re so much better off than we’d be if he was here, as he still doesn’t have a job, hasn’t filed his taxes or filed bankruptcy and is still being hunted by his creditors.

    It was a long, hard road, but I thank God we got away from him. Sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to break free & start over, no matter how difficult.

  2. Married but Single says:

    After I was caught in the middle of an incredible 14-month affair, my wife moved out, applied for child custody and filed for divorce, all in one shot. I literally came home to an empty house.

    After realizing how we would be impacted financially, especially with her being a stay-at-home mom and me making $200k/year, I quickly changed my ways, showering her with “love” and begging for her to “forgive” me.

    The affair went on, for many, many more months, except now we were EXTRA careful to keep things absolutely hidden. I even learned how to alter my cell phone bills and other documents with Photoshop. It was great!

    My lover and I eventually parted ways, although we still keep in touch, almost daily. My wife and I are back together, living under the same roof, enjoying the rewards that my outstanding income brings to us, but there is clearly no love there. We are truly married, but living single.

    Every day, I am out trying to find my next big affair and someday I know I will find the real Mrs. Right, but for now, I am just living a lie, hiding behind the painful truth that we just could not afford to do the right thing and part ways peacefully.

    I tell my wife all the time (in fact, I told her just this morning) that had she not been so drastic, so dramatic, and gone to mediation and not cut-and-dry divorce, we (me, her, my lover) would have been MUCH happier. Such is life, I guess.

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