Comments on: Don’t Tell Me Your Money Problems

By: Carter

Carter — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 21:41:23 +0000

I appreciate your comment. Just reading has made me take a better look at the way I spend money. I think you were right on point. That said, I wasn’t aware of this until I read your post. So here you have insight into something. You have the opportunity to help and encourage this woman. You took the time to write this down and share it on the Internet. It has helped me, maybe others too, thank you. What if you kindly explained to the woman that in order to afford sending your child to a better school your family had to cut back on some luxuries. Then instead of this woman believing she couldn’t afford it she might start to see that it could be possible if she took a better look at how she was spending her money now. I believe it’s always better to give people the benefit of the doubt.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:01:28 +0000

Some folks see private school as a flaunting of wealth. Perhaps by saying she couldn’t afford it, she didn’t want to flaunt her wealth in that manner. While I have found children who attend private schools to be better behaved and more engaging than ones who have attended public school, I really feel that many of the folks that I have hired that came from private schools truly lack realistic views of things. They make excellent employees but I’ve yet to find one that I could put in a lead role. Many private schools focus on being followers and not becoming leaders.

By: Orchid

Orchid — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 02:03:59 +0000

Maybe she was trying to come up with a polite excuse for not sending her child to the “good” school. “We can’t afford it” may sound better in her head than”I don’t think the school is that good.” You never know what she was actually thinking or how her family came to their personal decision regarding what’s best for their family and unique situation. Public schools are expected to have a smaller percentage of students going into a four year college due to the higher number a students and the various backgrounds of the students. I guess there may be some students that would not be able to get into a four year college unless they went to a private school. In that case, I think it’s definitely worth any investment. If your child is advanced, it may be less expensive to have him take courses during his junior and senior year at a local college. That’s what I did and they transferred to my University after I graduated from high school.

By: Ann

Ann — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 15:06:07 +0000

Persephone, people like your friend just make me flat out angry! At one point in my career I was a personal financial planner. I saw WAY too many cases where older people couldn’t afford to not work because their kids were bleeding them. Grrrrrr.

I may have left corporate and gone back to my first love (art) but I planned ahead and certainly did not expect one penny of help from my mother. Kids are supposed to take care of their aging parents, not the other way around!

By: Persephone

Persephone — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:19:39 +0000

I too, like Valerie, have to bite my tongue quite a bit when talking to people about their finances. One recent conversation comes to mind. An educated woman I know told me that she had left her well-paying job to figure our something meaningful to do with her life. She said she intended to finance her quest with money from her elderly parents. When I inquired about her parents’ financial situation, she readily admitted, in between sips of a $4.00 latte, that they weren’t wealthy. . . I nearly bit my tongue off.

By: Ann

Ann — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:49:35 +0000

I was reading the comments and thought I’d add another note.

It’s interesting that, with the recent credit crunch, a number of people are talking about how basic finances need to be added to the curriculum at schools. I asgree — too many kids are not being shown by their parents how to handle money responsibly. They have no idea what the real cost of using a credit card is, if they don’t pay it off completely each month or what it means to save.

I wonder what the end result of our current economic crisis will be on our children’s spending habits.

By: PennySeeds.com

PennySeeds.com — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 00:36:44 +0000

This subject amuses me frequently. I do not make a lot of money, but I always make sure I have the things I need, put away savings, and even buy things that I want, but don’t “need”.

People always ask me how I do it. And say things like ‘they can’t afford new shoes’, but yet they go out every week, and blow all their money on alcohol.

If you don’t have money for shoes then you certainly do not have the money to do that!

Some people can’t manage money. It doesn’t matter if they make $20k or $100k a year they will always have the same amount, because they are irresponsible.

By: Jules

Jules — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 05:17:32 +0000

On a street corner I saw a man today. He looked fresh and well-groomed, but with his cardboard sign, I figured he was homeless. Looking closer at the sign, I noticed it said “Please spare change for Xmas gifts”.

My heart goes out to all who are in need, especially families with children, but a different sadness and frustration arose from this scene: 1) despite being sure what his situation is (is he completely homeless, without food? or does he just need assistance to purchase holiday presents?), I felt there was a priority shift that wasn’t right. If he was completely homeless, shelter or food should be the top priority. If he was only without money for gifts, then the concept of Christmas is skewed as well. Whatever one’s religious background is, I believe that the most important this is to spend this holiday as well as others with your loved ones. Especially in today’s economy, it seems gifts should not be the prime essence of the holiday. My family has decided to forgo gifts this holiday season to save money and focus just on spending quality time with each other. I know not everyone desires to do that or and others can’t based on the value that is placed on gift giving in their family (gift giving is a good, sweet thing, just not good if finances are limited). I just wish for people to realize that the holidays are not only about gift giving.

By: baselle

baselle — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 05:13:49 +0000

I’m with you. Clearly bad fiscal decisions made with an air of hypocracy frustrate me also. But what really frustrates me along that track is that person’s expectation, somehow, that there is a club of good savers and that we have secret techniques for managing our money. You just know that your neighbor thinks you are a bank robber or you have jigged the system somehow because you make the school payments.

By: typome

typome — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:53:56 +0000

Maybe next time you hear her complaining about the costs of the private school, you could say, “Yeah, we had to cut back on such and such. Have you considered doing the same, maybe sell one of your cars?”

It’s easy for us who are very mindful of our money to cast people like your neighbor as having poor priorities. But don’t walk away in disgust until you really understand her mindset. Believe it or not, there are people out there who spend mindlessly and genuinely think that that is normal. Most of us have had our “a-ha” moments where we turned our financial lives around, and maybe your neighbor hasn’t reached that point yet.

Obviously there really are people who have their priorities all screwed up, like the comment about the dad who couldn’t come up with $15 (what the heck?) but let’s reserve the disgust until we fully realize their stories. It didn’t sound like you are close to this woman so you may not know what level she is at with her financial awareness.