I Love My Wife but I Won’t Sort Grapes for Her

Yesterday, I noted that although my wife and I will do just about anything for each other, my wife is not willing to buy my lottery tickets for me. I also have an errand that I cannot bring myself to perform for my wife. When I am in the grocery store, I won’t buy grapes.

Perhaps, I should say that I won’t buy grapes the way that my wife wants me to buy grapes. My wife is a big fan of the grape and rarely a day goes by when grapes are in season that my wife does not enjoy grapes with her lunch. When my wife buys grapes, however, she insists on sorting through the package of grapes and removing the grapes that she determines to be over-ripe or rotten.

My wife started being


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7 Responses to I Love My Wife but I Won’t Sort Grapes for Her

  1. Ann says:

    LOL You definitely should not feel guilty breaking open a package of grapes and only taking what you want! Until a handful of years ago, grapes were piled up and you picked out your own bunches in the quantity you wanted. Although removing single grapes (unless their rotten) may feel strange, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with picking out/breaking off the bunches you want… just like the bananas.

    I happen to love cabbage and refuse to pay for any wilted, ugly, aged outside leaves and break them off.

    I do have a problem cracking open a package of grape or cherry tomatoes, though I’ll thoroughly check them and not take a package if even one damaged little tomato is in there.

    Anything where the price is per package and not by the pound, I won’t open, but anything I pay by the pound for is subject to inspection, sorting and redistribution — fresh produce is too expensive to pay for something you can’t use!

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  3. KC says:

    I live alone and cannot eat an entire package of grapes before they go bad. I often take a bunch out of a bag to make it a reasonable portion for me. I never thought of removing single bad grapes before.

  4. Jo says:

    My problem with grapes is a little different. I like to taste one to see if it is sweet enough, however a bit nervous to do this for fear of getting accused of shoplifting. You probably think this is a joke, but I am from South Africa and certain shops would prosecute for that.

  5. Dr. Sardonic says:

    If you’re getting your fruit at Whole Foods or some similarly high-octane vendor, pick away, my friend, and bill the store for your trouble. Anywhere else: produce is priced “as is”. As it wilts, it’s moved down the food-chain (as it were) via urban produce cooperatives until it ends up in the low-rent fruit stand on the corner

  6. Anne says:

    I believe our local stores sell grapes by unit, not weight. I.e. they say “$1.99/pound” but you only have the option to buy a 2 pound clamshell at 3.98, and that will be the price you’re charged, no matter how many grapes you remove.

  7. Gail says:

    I hate the way they package grapes now. They sell them by the pound but put them in 2-3# batches in those bags. This has been going on for a couple years now where before you could pick up what you needed. I’m the only one that eats grapes and no way could I get through 2-3# before they go bad, so I break into the bags and remove what I want. One store does have a sign prohibiting this action although it says to get a produce person to help you if you need a smaller batch–I don’t have time for that nonsense, so I don’t buy grapes there. I too would like to taste test grapes as one grape will generally give you an idea is your batch tastes sweet or sour (ick) but I don’t go that far. Maybe I should get my stuff sorted by the produce guy and do a taste test.

    I’m getting tired of buying high priced produce and finding it is lousy when you get it home. I would love to be able to take a bite out of apples and peaches to be sure they are in good shape before buying but that isn’t an option, so I buy chocolate instead.

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