The library is an awesome, low cost place to hang out. But once you’ve read all the books, taken all the classes and surfed everything on the web, what else is there? Try these suggestions to make the most of your tax dollars.
Find a date – Forget online dating websites. Choose your next date based on his/her reading preferences. Hang out in the law library or by the medical journals. But be careful – avoid meeting people in the self-help section.
Play games – Play I Spy with young kids. Spy a blue book, or a book by Judy Blume and let the kids go find it. For older kids, you can misfile a book in the fiction section and see how long it takes them to find it. If you really want to mix things up, hide a book in the non-fiction section and teach your kids about the Dewey Decimal System. Please remember where you hid the book and return it to its proper location before you leave. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone getting into trouble.
Use the bathroom – Really, the facilities are meticulously clean and the paper is free. The lighting is flattering as well, so do your primping here before you head out to the book stacks.
Perform social experiments – Test the patrons’ power of observation. Read a book upside down and see if anyone notices. Walk around with a book balanced on your head and time how long it takes before you are thrown out of the building. Write down your findings and you could be published in a psychology journal and have your very own writing on the shelf of the library.
Hold a book signing – Remember that manuscript you self-published that you knew would be a best seller? Dust off your hardcovers and give away a few copies. Libraries love local authors and they might even loan you the pen.
Hide out – Are you wanted for unpaid parking tickets? Do you owe money to that well-connected guy down the street? Is your wife mad because you forget to pick up milk on your way home? Hide out at the library! Who would think to look for you there? Create a little tent for yourself out of books (large, heavy hardcovers work best). Crawl in and no one will ever find you.
Lip synch – It’s not fair. The library stocks lots of music CDs in every genre. But you have to be quiet in a library and they make you listen to your tunes with those ridiculous looking headphones. But you can still rock out! Grab your hairbrush and mouth the words to your favorite song. If you’re a classical music fan, play air keyboard on the tabletop instead.
Once you’re done taking advantage of all the fun the library has to offer, load up on free coffee and cookies and find a comfy chair in a secluded corner. Drift off and dream about all the fun you can have tomorrow. You didn’t even touch the magazine racks yet.
Image courtesy of brungrrl