Comments on: Talking About Money Is Inappropriate

By: Girija Deshpande

Girija Deshpande — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 12:24:43 +0000

These are great examples of being assertive. You divulge only what you want to. You do not take away the right to privacy from any one nor would you allow anyone to do that to you.

By: scott brandt

scott brandt — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:27:06 +0000

absolutly true.. i have this grandpa.. all he does is talk about his buisness.. how much money hes made.. its really annoying.. but he has threats he makes if anyone talks to him about it or changes the subject.. what should i do about that?

By: Saving Money Can Be Social - SavingAdvice.com Blog

Saving Money Can Be Social - SavingAdvice.com Blog — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:01:34 +0000

[...] with this hang up of ours, but not completely. As I’ve mentioned before, I think there is definitely a line that should not be crossed when talking about money. Anything that makes others feel bad or brings out feelings of [...]

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #168 - Fire Up the Grill, It’s Labor Day | One Caveman's Financial Journey

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 12:39:44 +0000

[...] Saving Advice – Talking About Money Is Inappropriate [...]

By: Cindy M

Cindy M — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:09:11 +0000

Try doing without a car and see the reaction THAT gets from other people, ha-ha. The reaction I’ve gotten from everybody, family and friends, hands down, is the assumption I must be in terrible debt. I find myself hastening to explain that in fact I have no debt other than my mortgage and DO in fact have plenty of cash in my emergency fund but have chosen to pay cash for things I actually want and need from here on out, if at all possible. I hate that pitiful look I get from everybody, not one “good for you,” which I find disheartening, frankly. Right now, it’s wanting to put more in my home, so I just paid cash for new spouting and windows, which makes me feel terrific. Another car is so far down on my list and so not interesting to me right now. I catch the bus when I can’t walk to get what I need, and it’s working fine with planning ahead and being close to everything. And no, I have not bothered anybody for a ride anywhere and never intended to. I’m socking cash away and will eventually buy another car, mostly to make everybody feel better, I guess. We’ll see.

By: Aviva

Aviva — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:15:54 +0000

I have to admit that my husband and I sometimes look at the lifestyles of our acquaintances and are envious of all the “toys” and fancy furniture and huge houses they own. And we start to wonder where did we go wrong that we can’t afford all those things too.

It’s possible that these people, who have similar jobs to my husband’s, really are earning way more than he does. But more likely, they have a lot of consumer debt while we have none other than our reasonable mortgage.

We also squirrel away something like 23 percent of our income to savings, mostly retirement, while I know that at least some of these folks have almost nothing in retirement accounts. (Not that I asked, but sometimes that stuff is volunteered while talking generally about trying to prepare for the unforeseeable future, like whether or not to count on Social Security being around when we hit retirement in 25 years.

In general, even though there are lots of consumer things we’d love to own, I’m happy we live more modestly and within our budgets.

By: jan8662

jan8662 — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:40:31 +0000

I don’t ask people about debt, income, or net worth,
but I do ask people about how much certain things cost just to have an idea of how much they cost!

For example, Last year when I was trying to prepare for my wedding, I really had no clue how much certain things cost and if I was charged at fair price. So I would ask my married friends about these things.

Or if someone just took a trip to a country that I am thinking about visiting, I may also ask them how much the trip cost just to get an idea.

By: leslie

leslie — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:41:56 +0000

People have actually asked how much debt you have? Wow…that just seems so completely out of bounds to me that I am astounded that someone would even consider asking that. Same with how much you make. The questions about how much something I bought cost don’t really bother me as long as I don’t sense something else behind the question (one-up-manship, for example).

By: Debbie M

Debbie M — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:54:41 +0000

When I first saw your list of ways to deal with these questions, I thought to myself, “You should just say that that you feel like answers to questions like that are bound to make someone feel bad, so you make it a policy never to answer those kinds of questions.” But then your religion/politics comparison answer was quite similar.

And your “more than I wanted to/less than I expected” strategy might actually tell them what they want to know without having to give them numbers. And your “why do you ask?” strategy could also allow for the same thing.

I actually usually like answering these questions because they can show what’s possible. However, if you can see that someone is being belligerent, I’d agree that there’s no good way to answer their questions except to use one of these strategies.

By: Ceejay74

Ceejay74 — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:50:59 +0000

Hardly anyone has talked to me about exact numbers with money. It’s uncomfortable because it’s sort of taboo, but I feel if people were more open they might feel that their finances and their social life were more in sync. I had to be somewhat open about my finances when my family abruptly stopped spending tons on going out with friends; we’d be counting out one-dollar bills for our single beer of the night while friends ordered food and multiple drinks. I felt it was better to be upfront because it showed we still wanted to hang out with them but we were going to be a lot thriftier about it.