Never Buy Candy Out Of Bins

candy bins

I would rather go to the dentist and get a root canal before going to the grocery store, but sometimes there are major emergencies, such as running low on beer, that necessitate a trip.

The other week I had one of these emergencies. The plan was to go in, grab the beer and get out as soon as possible. The plan failed miserably.

I had the beer in hand and should have headed straight for the check-out counter, but the devil spoke in my ear and asked, “Wouldn’t it be nice to get some nuts to go along with that beer?”

I headed to the aisle where you can scoop candy or nuts out of bins. Everything appeared to be going well. I found the beer nuts that I wanted and it seemed tha


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15 Responses to Never Buy Candy Out Of Bins

  1. ben says:

    Adults do this all the time too. I think they call it “grazing” – it’s why I never buy anything that isn’t pre wrapped.

  2. Dan says:

    That’s disgusting, and absolutely AWESOME at the same time…nice job! haha

  3. Jay Gatsby says:

    Can’t say that I believe you actually did that, but it makes for a nice story. Even if true, you didn’t teach the woman anything. If she truly gave a crap, she would have prevented her child from doing his disgusting routine in the first place.

    Next time (if there is one), I would report the child to the store management. The store manager could then ban the woman and her child from the store (which he probably wouldn’t out of fear of a backlash, but he COULD do it if he so desired). Alternatively, you could send a letter to the grocery store customer service office, with a CC to the local health department.

  4. consumer_q says:

    The stores I buy from have gravity fed dispensers without any bin; place bag beneath, pull lever to get the goodies. I imagine they were installed for the very reason explained in article.

    If you want a few other grocery-related “nevers”:
    Never eat from unattended samples at the grocery store
    Never drink soda/beer from a can unless you wash the top first
    Never cut into a block of cheese until you wash the wrapper first
    Never watch people prepare your food if you ever want to eat out of your home again.


  5. Amy says:

    Dude, that is sooooo awesome!
    I would have loved to have seen the look on that stupid, disgusting breeder hag’s face when you handed her back Bratley’s choice of candy after dippin your finger in it!

  6. sillyoleme says:

    I agree that what the kid was doing was gross… and the mother’s reaction was less than responsible.

    But for an adult to pick his nose and stick it in her bag? That didn’t solve anything, it only made her less likely to think about anything you had said before. If you did actually do that, it was stupid.

    I agree with previous posters… you should have reported it to store mangement or the health department, then you would have been acting responsibly and getting the problem solved.

  7. SaveForHouse says:

    Beer Guy, it’s really great what you did, and I hope it taught the mother a lesson. This type of behavior (the mother’s) is so sad, and unfortunately very typical these days. So many people have complete disregard for others and carry themselves with a “I’m more important than you and everything else” type attitude. I’d be willing to bet money that the mother also drives a gas guzzling SUV while talking the cell phone the entire time.

  8. Sam says:

    Ok the mother is mean. But the way you respond is worst*laughs*. Anyway, I will probably run away as soon as possible if ever I encounter that situation. Just had an anger management class and that was their number 1 rule hahahah!

    Fix My Personal Finance

  9. Lisa says:

    Hooray for you! I stand back in envy wishing I had the nerve to do the same thing. But, FYI, the lady was still clueless about her own kid.

  10. Deirdre says:

    Your actions were so disgusting that I’m surprised the mother didn’t call the store manager on YOU. If you don’t want the damn nuts, then don’t eat them and walk away!

  11. karen says:

    Wow, that is the most Zorro-y thing I have heard in a while.

    (That’s not a compliment.)

  12. Susan says:

    I have never laughed so hard or felt so nauseated while reading this story, so you did your job and got our attention. Thanks for the hilarity. Please note that I’ll be eating my home-cooked, sterilized food through the the air-tight opening in my new Bubble Girl Helmet.

  13. Minerva says:

    So I imagine she took your booger infested bag of candy and poured it back into the bin. It makes for a funny story but I think it would have accomplished more if you had told her you were going to report her and her kid to the manager for theft and contaminating the food.

    It bothers me that you didn’t say anything. If you had, the manager could have removed the contaminated food. So innocent people came along after and took those nuts or candy unaware of what went on.

    The woman was being a jerk but I wish you had not acted in kind and had been a little more responsible. Also I doubt you taught her any kind of lesson.

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  15. dai-jah says:

    lol. your awsome

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