While I can’t guarantee that these are the absolute top 10 ways you can waste money on e-Bay this week, they certainly deserve some attention and possibly some laughs…
10. A rubber band: No joke. You can get a regular rubber band for $1 with free shipping.
9. A million ants: You can adopt an ant that has nested in the bottom of some guy’s garden. Apparently you get an adoption certificate and everything. Only $2. (The listing says this is actually a fundraiser. By adopting an ant you are helping raise money to develop and build a theme park for physically challenged children. If this is in fact the case, it wouldn’t really be a waste of money, but it’s a nice addition to the list)
8. 3 Huge 20 inch Rubber Chickens: Why?
7. Plans for a Shoulder Fired Toilet Paper Bazooka: For only $9.99 you can get the plans to build a bazooka that can apparently shoot the following according to the listing:
1) Toilet paper (5 rolls at a time if you like)
2) Stuffed Animals
3) T Shirts, including unwanted laundry (yes panties!)
4) Confetti, on mass
5) Water – Be careful with shooting water as it is more equivalent to a fire hose
6) YOU HAVEN’T LIVED until you have shot off a barrel of popped popcorn. Instantly turn a room white – Maybe at the office
6. Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages: Band Aids that look like real pieces of bacon. You can also get ones in the form of T-Bone Steak. Buy it now for $4.95.
5. A Talking Toilet Paper Holder: Record your own messages to be heard every time the roll turns. Only $9.95
4. A Fritos Chip shaped like the breast cancer awareness ribbon: Starts at only $1 with $5 shipping (you have to keep it padded so it doesn’t break during shipment)
Also available: a potato chip that looks like Scarlett Johansson and some dryer lint that looks like Tom Brady of the Patriots.
3. A giant 725lb pumpkin: Even though bidding starts at only a penny, I think transporting this thing would be more work than it’s worth. Here’s what the listing said:
This is auction is for pickup only and the buyer must provide a means of transporting them. you must have a pickup truck and 7 strong men and/or a back hoe at your disposal with a crane connection and bridal/harness. A have an Amish sheet with a couple dozen handles you can use to help you get it in the car. it can be flipped onto that and everyone can grab a pair of handles. this sucker is heavy!!
2. OJ Toast: You can buy this piece of toast with OJ Simpon’s picture burnt on to it. Actually featured on the Jay Leno Show. Currently going for $41.
And the number 1 way to waste your money on e-bay this week
1. Afterlife Messenger Service: Just email them your message along with the email or street address of the recipient where you want your message delivered. Make sure somebody will place your name in the obituaries when you are dead. They search obituaries from more than 400 U.S., Canadian and U.K. newspapers and the Social Security Death Index and their computers will alert them when its time for them to send your message. According to the listing:
That’s right folks you can now make arrangements to express yourself from the grave…Certain restrictions do apply. Other arrangements, details and instructions for what to do after you are dead are negotiable.
Starts at only $6.99.
So even if you haven’t been able to stick to your budget this week, don’t totally despair. You certainly could have wasted it on much more useless junk than you probably did…