Comments on: Ten Inexpensive Alternatives to Sending Flowers to a Funeral

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:00:24 +0000

I was overwhelmed by the amount of flowers and plants that arrived at my mother’s funeral and appreciated every arrangement. I wish I had thought to have someone photograph them all for me. While I did receive other thoughtful gifts of sympathy, nothing had a more impact on me than the roomful of wall to wall flower arrangements from her many friends.

By: MammaB

MammaB — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:37:43 +0000

I never took any of the comment to be negative towards flowers. Some people do not take pictures of the casket. I looked at it as taking each funeral on a case by case basis. I order plants. They do last longer. When you see it at the person’s house when you are visiting, it is a great way to ease into a conversation about the loved one who passed and how your friend is doing. I also like to take food and send notes. It really depends on the person. Just be supportive in your own way. Be there; that is what truly matters. One family of a friend asked me to take photos of all the flowers at their family member’s funeral. They had over 100 bouquets of flowers and plants sent to them. I took pictures of all the flowers and then the card that came attached to the flowers. Put it all on disks for the family. They still mention how much they appreciated the pics three years later!

By: grace

grace — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:23:26 +0000

Debi, you said it best. It’s not about what is best for me. It’s about what I can do to be a blessing to someone else. Thanks for the reminder.

By: Debi Hester

Debi Hester — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 20:32:40 +0000

I read a story in the old Redbook magazine when I was maybe a teenager… I Came To Clean Your Shoes … it described how a friend offered to clean the shoes of the young family who had suffered a loss, which was so thoughtful and just one thing the family had not thought about before but needed.
Another idea is to offer to take their car to the car wash.
Any menial task that is often overlooked but necessary in daily life can be a service done to a family stricken suddenly by a loss.

By: Max

Max — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:47:39 +0000

I do not think the people commenting on the flower “issue” are flower haters. Rather thsn the fact that for most people there are alot of flowers/plants sent for the funeral as to what else could be done for the family. I like the stamps and other suggestions. Donating to a charity or if the deceased had a medical condition a donation in their name would be a consideration. How about Arbor Foundation to plant a tree in their honor if they do that). Please remember that the plants sent would have to be taken home and cared for. Its not that anybody is against plants/flowers sometimes its the other “small” things that we could do would have a longer lasting effect for the memory of the deceased.

By: sgt peters

sgt peters — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 03:52:50 +0000

i think sending flowers to a funeral is a good thing as i could not go to a close mates funeral but sending a big bunch of flowers was like going for me anyway as im fighting in the war so not like i can just go and come back so flowers yes they cost alot but whats money at a time like a funeral or a wedding rest in peace luke 3 para we all miss you loads mate xxx

By: T Carlson

T Carlson — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 03:56:28 +0000

Why pick on the flowers? The money spent on food does not last as long as flowers. Do people need the banquet after the service? Is anything more than a simple pine box necessary? What about the money being spent to get to a funeral service?

It does not make sense to say that just the flowers are expensive and not necessary. What about alcohol; what about dining out; are vacations necessary; why not suggest that

By: K. R.

K. R. — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 02:00:35 +0000

All of these ideas are beautiful expressions of sympathy. Most people overlook practical gifts.

My mother gave my husband’s family a candle when his mother passed away. His mother loved to paint and painted a still life of lilacs for my mother for her birthday one year. Appropriately the candle was lilac scented. During special times of the year, my husband’s sister lights the candle in rememberance of their mother.

By: MLH

MLH — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 13:36:35 +0000

All of these suggestions were good. My family and I are catholic so I usually go to my parish office and request Masses to be said for the person. The office sends a card with the time and day of the mass to the family and who has requested the mass or masses. This is great if U are out of town or state.
I go home and mark the dates and times of the masses down and make sure I attend.

By: Amy F.

Amy F. — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 22:33:30 +0000

These are great ideas. I never would have thought of most of them. Thanks! I particularly liked the housesitting and correspondence services ideas.