Personal Finance Advice

I like the cook the meal one. I found that food always comforts me in the times of sadness.

Your alternative suggestions for sending condolences are very popular and also great ideas. Its a shame that flowers wouldn’t be considered another great thing just because they don’t last that long or they are to expensive. But why does it have to be looked at as a time issue or money issue? For instance your picture of the casket in the photo with the flowers placed around it wouldn’t that have a lasting visual impression on the family versus a plain casket? I would think that the effects would be the same. Your advice for saving money on funerals should be the title of your post. Flowers are a very positive way of sending your condolences and it shouldn’t be looked at as anything else. I have a question do you have any idea why the flowers cost so much for the service? What value do you place on the flowers? How about the value in the design of the arrangement?

I look forward to seeing your answers.

My mother told me the most appreciated and thoughtful gift she received was the roll of stamps from an old high school friend. She said the friend was one who realized that money for a new widow can be pretty tight and that although you can have thank you notes included in the cost of a funeral, that doesn’t get them mailed. With postage so high, and flowers equally high, a roll of postage could easily replace the money you would spend on flowers. that wither and fade.

Any expression of sympathy helps and all of those you suggested are good ones. However, negative comments regarding flowers was not necessary. A memorial service without flowers is very cold and makes a difficult time even worse. I am hoping you receive many floral arrangements for your funeral service to offer comfort for your family.

I didn’t mean it to come off that I didn’t think flowers were wonderful and appropriate. Some people just don’t like to put cash into something that doesn’t last. For them, there should be other ideas. I try to send a living arrangement when I do send flowers. I don’t like sending something that won’t last. Something the grieving family can take home that continues to thrive and live to me, reinforces that the person will live on in your heart forever. I’m sorry if I made it sound like sending flowers was not something to do. I agree that a service with no flowers at all would be very stark and cold.

To Eric & Justa Florist,

I am in no way trying to suggest that flowers have no value. I recognize the time, effort, and skill required to grow and arrange flowers, and I agree that they are appropriate and appreciated expressions of remembrance.

I do, however, recognize that flower arrangements are priced high for many people on tight budgets to be able to afford; my intent is to offer alternatives for those people, not to suggest that no one should send flowers to a funeral.

Mama Sage,

Thanks for the stamps idea — I love it! I have given stamps as graduation gifts and have seen them given at bridal showers, as well. I think they’re practical ideas for many occasions.

These are great ideas. I never would have thought of most of them. Thanks! I particularly liked the housesitting and correspondence services ideas.

All of these suggestions were good. My family and I are catholic so I usually go to my parish office and request Masses to be said for the person. The office sends a card with the time and day of the mass to the family and who has requested the mass or masses. This is great if U are out of town or state.
I go home and mark the dates and times of the masses down and make sure I attend.

All of these ideas are beautiful expressions of sympathy. Most people overlook practical gifts.

My mother gave my husband’s family a candle when his mother passed away. His mother loved to paint and painted a still life of lilacs for my mother for her birthday one year. Appropriately the candle was lilac scented. During special times of the year, my husband’s sister lights the candle in rememberance of their mother.

Why pick on the flowers? The money spent on food does not last as long as flowers. Do people need the banquet after the service? Is anything more than a simple pine box necessary? What about the money being spent to get to a funeral service?

It does not make sense to say that just the flowers are expensive and not necessary. What about alcohol; what about dining out; are vacations necessary; why not suggest that “In lieu of your next carton of cigarettes, give to the Cancer Society”.

Don’t you think it is rather crass to tell other people how they should express their feelings? What would you think of a wedding invitation with a line that says: “In lieu of gifts, please bring cash?”

My guess is that the money spent on flowers for a funeral are minimal compared to all the other expenditures.

Your 10 suggestions are all appropriate, but why do you have to suggest that most of them be done “in lieu of flowers”?

Can you tell us of any other industry that is singled out suggesting that moneys be diverted to a cause? How about your next evening out for dinner and theatre be cancelled and send that money to a food pantry. I can guess why you would not do that, because no one else would know about your noble action.