The burning question I have is why do so many women neglect their financial lives? Is it fear? Is it lack of interest? Do you assume that someone else will handle this? If so, why do you believe that your financial life is someone else’s responsibility?
I believe that one of the reasons more of you don’t take control is that there is very little peer pressure to do so. So here it is: I, your concerned sister, hereby strongly encourage you to be financially educated and independent!
I hear you say enlightened things like, “No man can tell me what to do!” Well, if a man buys you new boobs or pays your rent, he may have good reason to think he has some input into the decisions you make. I don’t know why you don’t see that if you treat a man like your human wallet, then you can bet he will feel as though he has purchased your freedom. Wouldn’t it be easier to focus your energy on your career instead of manipulating money out of men?
I know there was a time when you couldn’t even own property and there were severe restrictions on your ability to earn a decent living. Sisters, that time has passed. Yes, there are still ways in which the deck is stacked in favor of men, but to sit out of the game because the other team has a few more years experience than you do is to forfeit your future. And you can’t blame men for that.
I have conducted anecdotal research on the question of women and financial responsibility among my two grandmothers and a step grandmother. Two thirds of them did ZERO financial planning on their own. Ironically, those were the two that lived the longest and would’ve been destitute without the help of family. They were taught to marry, have children and leave the rest up to their husbands. Not surprisingly, all three of them outlived multiple husbands!
Okay, you say, that was a long time ago. What about nowadays? Instead of supporting frugality and personal financial education, it appears to be more common for you to commiserate and laugh about not being able to afford something as you gas up your SUV and go to the mall to find the latest “must have” item that you have no room for in your overstuffed homes. Now, this part really gets me; then you hide the item from our spouse in the back of the closet. This is the same as eating something that nobody saw you eat and telling yourself that the calories don’t count.
Pssst. Here’s a secret. You’re not getting away with anything. You are adding a layer of stress to your marriage that such deception brings. And the money you spend secretly is still no longer in your marital pot of money. So, you are not only deceiving him, you are deceiving yourself, as well as stealing from your future.
And who do you blame when there’s not enough money to pay the bills or to go to the beach with girl friends? Whose fault do you say it is? Your husband! This is the same brilliant thinking that causes you to fake orgasms. To me, that’s like going to a restaurant and just because your order is taking a little longer than expected, you just pretend you ate, pay the bill and leave hungry! That’ll show him!
You must take responsibility for your financial life, and your orgasms for that matter. You cannot expect to have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want but expect someone else to pick up the tab. Otherwise, you are merely replacing one form of tyranny for another and putting yourself in a prison of financial ignorance and dependence.
Image courtesy of Its All About Mich!!!