What would you do if you had children still in your home after they had graduated from college, but they weren’t helping out financially in any way? This is a question that one of the readers is facing and wondering what steps she should take to resolve the issue:
I hope that you can give me some advice on a problem that I have with my children. They are both adults with one being 24 and the other being 26 years old. After college, they moved back into our home where they have been ever since. Although I love having them with us and have no problem with them actually living here, I feel that them living with us has been quite detrimental to their financial well-being.
Neither of them has jobs or are they looking for jobs. Since all their basic needs are satisfied living here (they don’t even purchase their own food), they have no real incentive to go out and find a real job.
I want to be a supportive parent, but I also want them to learn that they have to be able to support themselves. I know that I need to sit down and have a talk with them, but I’m not sure how to broach the subject and what type of demands I should make of them. I’m looking for suggestions on how to let them know that it is not okay for them to live here without working and paying their fair share, but also letting them know that I’m more than willing to help them as they seek employment.
I’m also wondering whether I should place deadlines on them finding employment? I think that they should at the very least pay for their own food and help out with utilities and home maintenance costs. Are there other things that I am forgetting that also should be included? Any suggestions that you have would be most appreciated.
If you were in the same position, what are the rules that you would make for your children and what would be your financial expectations of them to remain living in your home?