The Prenup Question


Whether you get engaged on Valentine’s Day or any other time during the year, the least romantic question about a forthcoming marriage is whether or not to create a prenuptial agreement (often referred to as a prenup or prenup agreement). The prenup is a contract that fiances may sign before their wedding day which describes and allocates what will happen to them financially in case they divorce.

It may seem hypocritical to some to make plans for a divorce before the day you pledge to share your lives together forever — for richer, for poorer, right? Unfortunately, the ugly truth is that many marriages end in divorce and divorce can be extremely messy. This is particularly true if one or both people have children from a prior marriage, substantial assets, a business, or a potential inheritance.

Rather than spending massive amounts of money on divorce lawyers, a financially sound step to take is to invest in a prenuptial agreement. Each person will need to hire their own lawyer; this is one of the few times when a couple most certainly shouldn’t share.

It’s important to sign a prenuptial agreement long before the wedding date. The problem is that if you sign it just before walking down the aisle, it could be legally challenged later. You don’t want there to be any suggestion that one person was coerced into giving up their rights to make the wedding go on time.

Ideally, you’ll be able to broach the subject of a prenuptial agreement long before the actual wedding proposal. It can be an awkward subject, but it will also give you a good opportunity to judge whether or not the two of you are ready to make the step into marriage. Depending how the conversation goes, the following statements might arise:

“If you trusted me, you wouldn’t need me to sign a prenup.”

“If you trusted me, you wouldn’t mind signing a prenup.”

If either of these statement does, seriously consider postponing the wedding until you both can come to an agreement that you are satisfied with. Statements like those simply mean you have a lot more talking to do before you are ready for marriage.

(Photo courtesy of Steven Tom)

This entry was posted in Personal Finance and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Prenup Question

  1. Quang says:

    Yeh I’m a romantic myself and am conflicted with the advice of asking for a prenup… part of me just wants to say f-it, throw caution to the win… “If we divorce she SHOULD get half”

    But the other side, every rich person’s advice (that I read about) is to get a prenub;

    I once went to a seminar where Donald Trump spoke… he went on for about 15 minutes! about how everyone should get a prenup…

  2. edenz says:

    Honestly, I think they’re a really good idea – it’s like life insurance for your marriage. You don’t get life insurance b/c you want to die, you get it b/c you Might die.

    My financee and I discussed creating one, but as neither of us had any assets, we decided it wasn’t necessary.

    I think the aversion to prenups is akin to the aversion to discussing money before the wedding – another big no-no. If you can’t talk about money before the wedding you’re going to have money arguments afterwards.

  3. kellz says:

    I believe that a prenuptial is saying, “I don’t trust you or love you unconditionally and I am not sure I will want to work hard to make it through the bumpy roads that may lie ahead; therefore, I want you to sign this prenup in case I need an easy way out.” This is not what marriage is about. If a person wants a prenup than I believe he/she does not trust or love the other person unconditionally (a love that lasts forever).

    When Jesus died on the cross for us, he did not say I will only die for you and your sins if you sign this paper first. His death was an unselfish act of love. I view marriage in a similar way. You are unselfishly giving yourself to another person. A prenuptial is selfish!!! When two people enter a marriage it is not only between the two of them, but also with God. There is obviously nothing in the bible about prenuptials; however, it does state that a marriage is forever. Therefore, if you are a Christain than I do not believe it is right to sign a prenuptial. If you are not a Christian, I still believe it is saying you do not trust the other person. Furthermore, you might want to reconsider getting married.

  4. john says:

    We have a prenup which states whats hers is hers and whats mine is mine,we split all of the bills.We live in her home,it is free and clear of any debt,I rent out my home,should I have to pay rent.

  5. john says:

    Type your comment here.We have a prenup which states whats hers is hers and whats mine is mine,we split all of the bills.We live in her home,it is free and clear of any debt,I rent out my home,should I have to pay rent.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *