The Best Place To Hide Money: Conversation With A Burglar

BurglarI had quite the interesting conversation this weekend with a person who happened to be a former burglar. It was great timing because I was wondering if something like the skid mark underwear for hiding money would really work. I also figured that if you wanted to know the best place to hide your money from a burglar, a former burglar was the person to ask.

I started off simply and was not surprised by the answer to the question “where is the best place to hide your money?”

“At the bank,” he said with a sly grin

When I rephrased and asked where the best place to hide money and valuables in the house would be if you had such items there, I was taken a bit by surprise b


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211 Responses to The Best Place To Hide Money: Conversation With A Burglar

  1. catherine says:

    Put NRA stickers up–even if you don’t own a gun.

  2. D'Lorean says:

    So why did the burglar leave this business after 7 years of success? Did he find a more lucrative career?

    He became an Investment Banker!

  3. taylorLAUTNER says:

    last night i realised my bro stole

  4. Bob says:

    I think a safe deposit box is the only way to store cash, other than the amount on your person. Granted in an emergency, ie hurricane etc it can be a problem. A security system is very inexpensive anymore and I think anything you can do to speed up the burglar’s time is important. Be sure that your security system notifies the police if the burgular cuts the phone lines. Another item for your alarm system is a strobe light that flashes repeatedly when the alarm is tripped alerting the neighbors but also alerts you when you are returning home so that you do not walk in on a buglary in progress. I am a firm believer in carrying a firearm and knowing how to use it. It certainly adds to one’s comfort level when out and makes home invasions more damgerous for the criminal. Even though we are too old for the drug scene, don’t keep cash or have valauble items in the house, we do have a TV, computer and a micro wave that might be something a drug dependent person could sell. I love my alarm system, the guy that owned the house before us must have had more because he put in a realy neat system with internal traps etc. I would suggest having an alarm professional talk to you about all the various things that can be done. Most of the really neat stuff is a one time expense and then just the monthly monitoring fee after that.

  5. opusbar1 says:

    I don’t think the tampon box/ Kotex box is a good idea. My wife threw them all out once she had her hysterectomy and tossed a couple of hundred bucks at the same time. Just put the bills in a bank and trust the financial institutions for a change.

  6. funny1 says:

    An old school douche bag is a good hiding place, as is a dirty clothes hamper for small valuables. But I prefer the decoy safe with tracking just for fun. I have one of the smaller fire safes with handle and key. They aren’t expensive and make for great decoy safes. I bought mine originally to keep tapes in (I’m a documentary filmmaker and didn’t want to loose my original footage to fire or water damage). But now, I want a bigger safe I’ll bury and use the smaller safe as a decoy. Lock it and leave it. They’ll take it with and open it later (maybe) and find money maybe or crap. hahahahahaha To the person rambling on about giving in, it depends on how you look at it. It’s like chess really. Besides a burglar is at a disadvantage, we just never see it that way. They don’t know you’re home like you do. There are all sorts of evil legal things we could do to them, if we cared. :)

  7. CeeJay says:

    Very interesting post! Do you have any other friends who are ex-convicts??

  8. Lidvino says:

    When I was a kid, me and my sister would go door to door in an upscale neighborhood mid day durring business hours and ask if “Emily is home” if no one answered we would open they’re Mail Box and look for personal letters that could be BDay cards or congradulation cards like graduation or wedding cards.
    If the person did answer we pretended to have the wrong house And didn’t touch their box, and wrote down the adress to know not to return.
    We made hundreds of dollars.
    We stopped when we learned what a “Federal Crime” means.

  9. Clank says:

    Most people are not at risk. If you have house parties and lots of friends come over then you are very high at risk. More people in your house the worse.

    Also the bank is a terrible place to place your money. It is not sucure. One time the IRS Levied one of my accounts and they got $1500 and turned off my ATM card. NEVER keep your money their. Just keep enough to pay your bills. People in this world are SICK SICK SICK. Watch out!

  10. indigo says:

    I keep my cash strapped on my person in a moneybelt… the worst a burgler could ever do is shoot and kill me…..but that sucker would never get my money.

  11. Sorin says:

    I personally believe you should mark all of your possessions without fear of damage using Ghostprint proof of ownership system.(

  12. Terry says:

    I’m an Old Timer and I haven’t got
    much capital. The Goverment and Banks
    love the plastic cards.You leave a
    large paper trail. They know what & where you are ,what your doing, how
    much you spend.When you use cash no one knows nothing.Soon your Boss will
    just move money in your account each
    month and you’ll never see any money.
    Bad move I like having money in my
    hand. The Banks are not doing it
    to make it eazy for YOU!! It’s to
    make it eazy for them.

  13. jake says:

    u just taught everyone how to rob a well secure house

  14. Joe Hamson says:

    Hello, I am a regular thief, and I found all this extremely helpful. A real time saver!

  15. Walter says:

    I like the counterfeit money idea. Where can you buy it?

  16. Cynthia says:

    Living high up is no guarantee! My friend on the 5th floor recently got mugged through his little balcony!

  17. burglar says:

    thanks very much for all of your tips………….i will soon be visiting all of your homes and robbing you blind………………….


  18. eduard says:

    2 years ago, my house got robbed while I was sleeping. It’s a one-story house and the robber got in using through the window in my room. Luckily(unluckily), I woke up because of she foolishly pointed a penlight at my face that is when I got startled and she jumped through the window and left my bag but took my wallet. With your tips, I can be prepared the next time.

  19. AnnG says:

    excellent article. I think personally, that better all the same to keep greater part of money in the bank. it is besides better to keep not in one, but in a few banks. so more reliable. and at home to hold the small amount of cashs. but information indeed interesting in the article. thank you to the author!!

  20. Lou Nemeth says:

    I don’t think too many people keep wads of cash around the house anymore. After all this is the digital age. Music, movies and yes, money is now digital. However, I’m sure many people keep valuables like jewelery in their house. I like the idea of hiding things in the kids room, great suggestion!

  21. locky says:

    I wouldn’t cut corners when it comes to protecting my money, especially if it’s anywhere near my life-savings. Either I keep the money in the bank, or I hire a locksmith to install every possible security measure in order to keep thieves away.

  22. Kristen says:

    Good suggestions! What if u have no money to hide in ur house?? LOL

  23. Burgular says:

    this discussion of “Places where to hide valuables” gives ideas to those wanting to hide and also to those who use this information to expand their searches. You’d have to be an idiot to use any methods listed on this page.

  24. Ray says:

    This is quite true, it happened in Belfast N,Ireland about 70 years ago an old lady (grandmother’s neighbor) found money her husband was secretly saving under the floorboards. Removing the wad of money she ripped one of the notes into tiny shreds and took some of the corners of the other notes. Scattering it before replacing the board down.
    The husband bought it,, the mice had eaten the money. For his foolishness she slapped him around the head.

  25. JohnR says:

    If you can’t invest in a professional grade fire proof safe, I would invest in a safe deposit at the bank. There’s a million places in the home, without using the obvious. I have an alarm system with recorded video outside and inside. Alarms and surveillance is a terrific investment. Not to mention my two Rotties and killer Pom :)

  26. Ian says:

    Those who think that a burglar has a memory of some super-computer and the ability to completely calm down and go over hundreds and hundreds of online, posted tips, hints and tricks…must need their brains seeing to. Burglars simply cannot carry enough equipment, or make enough noise, or take enough time in order to counter every available tip. That’s the point, morons…WE OVERLOAD THEM WITH WORKLOAD BEYOND WHAT THEY ARE READY TO TAKE ON…and, that way, we win.

  27. Sam says:

    The best method I have used over the years, and it worked for me 100%: Whether you keep your valuables, loved ones, in a safe, in a drawer or just laying there on the table (if you had to); or in your car, or when you park your car anywhere, or when your kids are off to school, etc., just do your best, point at it and say these exact words:

    [In the name of the creator of the heaven and the earth, I entrusted you with the protector of the heavens and the earth.] Just say it without any doubt in your heart, walk away with trust, and you’ll be amazed every time. I do my best; I lock my door, point at the door after I lock it, and I say it. When I park my car, I point at my car with the remote control, and I say it. Over the years, this has been the best solution. One time I got robbed, I was in a hurry, and I forgot.

  28. Mike says:

    I would not store my gold in a safe deposit at the bank because the bank can take your gold away. I personally store my gold in a whole i made in my kitchen floor cleverly under tiles. That way if my house gets robbed my gold is safe.

  29. Devon says:

    You cant hide large lots of silver and gold so I bought a large safe that weighs 2500lbs and had it bolted down….its a two level two door safe…one level has the goods and the other is loaded with ALOT of black powder…..go ahead and torch it open…..better get the right door.

  30. Annie says:

    Another point that was left out is a thief never wants to be seen in your house, never hide valuables in back rooms, use front rooms where curtains are wide open, and people can see in from the street. Never keep jewellery in bedrooms , wardrobes or bathrooms.
    Only keep cheap stuff in a jewellery box.
    And, leave a sign at all entries saying your security camera has a uninterupted power supply :)

  31. Robert Carnegie says:

    Annie – if you keep your valuable stuff in the front room where people can be seen, surely you can be seen too taking it out and putting it away. Then again, I’m not a jewellery person, and my watch wallet etc are almost always with me.

  32. Bill says:

    Best place to hide money? Spend it :-) no, how about with property, hard to steel land.

  33. jm says:

    People seem to think that the burglars are all going to be reading this exact webpage. …And the ones that actually pretend to be an active burglar and go “hey thanks”, how original.

  34. jjj says:

    Tarantula Dan: I love you.
    People who keep saying to hide money in the toilet: I wouldn’t do that, it’s way too easy to look there. (Or in any other place where there’s just one of it.) If you put it in a book or a can of food, then even if the burglar thinks to look there, he still doesn’t know WHICH book or can.

  35. Guy says:

    Engrave “hello kitty” on all your knives, guns, gadgets– no thief could get a dime for it but thug friends might beat the crap out of him

  36. Derek Daniels says:


    Interviewer: “Where should I hide all my money to keep it safe?”

    Burglar: “Hmm… You should leave it all in a really obvious place where the burglar is likely to find it, like lying in a big pile on the floor. The less time the burglar has to spend in your house the better!”

  37. Derek Daniels says:

    In all seriousness, the best place is to keep it is in a piece of garbage lying in plain sight where it doesn’t look out of place, like an old empty soda can, or if you’re a girl, a box of tampons.

  38. Jon says:

    Besides telling someone you trust where you hid the money in case you die, another tip is to make sure you keep the money in good condition!!! Money is not indestructable! My uncle hid thousands of dollars in a hole he dug in the basement of his house. He didn’t seal it in a airproof bag or anything. After a few years, it got all moldy and the ink started to run! He ended up having to take it to another country in order to find someone who would exchange it for a fee.

    I think a great hiding place would be a hollowed piece of wood in your house. For example, under wooden stair cases, you can usually find a piece of 2×4 that isn’t a support beam and just drill a hollow open in it. stuff your money in there and then put it back so the hole is covered up by the other boards.

  39. Digital Printing Sacramento says:

    Great read. I would hide my money in a safe or a bank. I am going to be reading part two now. Thanks!

  40. steve welch says:

    Why was the burglar a burglar?was it because he was poor and couldn’t find a job or was it because he was a drug addict?

  41. Benjamin says:

    How’bout inside a hollowed out tennis ball in a canister with others around it? I also slip some bills in between the pages of the dictionary, only the middle of the book though and one per page to prevent bulging.

  42. bobau0605 says:

    Our option is make our home the most undesirable to rob. We have 2 rottweilers, 1 hound/rottweiler mix and a doorbell chihuahua. Love the stigma that goes with our dogs!

  43. Jim says:

    An important thing to remember about bolted down or large safes: You may expect the burglar to come back, but he wants you to be home so you can open it for him!

  44. Pingback: The Best Places To Hide Valuables In Your House | Lifehacker Australia

  45. charly says:

    If I’m going to be out of town for long periods of time I’ll just trash my house. Knock everything over break some dishes make a real mess of the place,I will even leave the door unlocked. This way it will look like they are too late and my house was already hit. I wont be hiding any valuables because I don’t have any to take, just this laptop but it would be with me. But if anyone is going to trash my house for nothing it will be me.

  46. Alex says:

    Except in the case of a fire. you cant get to it. our cash is “hidden” in a place we can get to it quickly. But most people don’t know its there. I had only been stashing it a couple days when I asked my husband if he’d found any money lying around the apartment. I had to show him where it was. I should mention I my intention was not to hide the money it was just an easy place to keep it.

  47. Donald Barnebey says:

    Banks are not necessarily the best place to store your money after all. Just ask the folks in Greece and on Cyprus. America may not be far behind. When you give your money over to the bank, you become a creditor of theirs. But if that bank should go bankrupt they’re under no legal obligation to pay you back from any assets that they do have. Rather do they pay off any “secure creditors” first (Generally other banks and millionaires). And the economy now is on the verge of collapse. The FDIC will not be able to guarantee your first $250,000 if many big banks simultaneously are failing. Think of burying large amounts of cash in heavy plastic containers underground.

  48. Aaron says:

    I know a guy who buries his cash in 3″ sch 40 pvc with end plugs glued on. Definitely water proof…problem is, he forgets where he buried ’em. Myself, I prefer the classic bookcase with secret sliding door behind and a thick steel enclosure within the wall.

  49. Dianne says:

    I agree Donald, but how do you take large amounts of cash out of a bank w/o raising a red flag these days?

  50. Rob says:

    If banks start dropping left and right and the FDIC cannot pay up then I think we have much bigger issues to worry about. It wont matter where you keep your money if it’s no longer worth anything.

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