Taxes

# How Taxes Really Work

The following story has been circulating around the Internet since 2001, but it is always a humorous read (and will get you thinking a bit) as people start to put their taxes together so I thought I’d place it up for some that may have missed it:

This is a VERY simple way to understand the tax laws. Read on — it does make you think!!

Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to \$100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men – the poorest – would pay nothing; the fifth would pay \$1, the sixth would pay \$3, the seventh \$7, the eighth \$12, the ninth \$18, and the tenth man – the richest – would pay \$59.

That’s what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement – until one day, the owner threw them a curve (in tax language a tax cut).

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by \$20.” So now dinner for the ten only cost \$80.00.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six ? the paying customers? How could they divvy up the \$20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?”

The six men realized that \$20 divided by six is \$3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, Then the fifth man and the sixth man would end up being PAID to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so the fifth man paid nothing, the sixth pitched in \$2, the seventh paid \$5, the eighth paid \$9, the ninth paid \$12, leaving the tenth man with a bill of \$52 instead of his earlier \$59. Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free.

But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar out of the \$20,” declared the sixth man who pointed to the tenth. “But he got \$7!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man, “I only saved a dollar, too . . . It’s unfair that he got seven times more than me!”.

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man, “why should he get \$7 back when I got only \$2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night he didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered, a little late what was very important. They were FIFTY-TWO DOLLARS short of paying the bill! Imagine that!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college instructors, is how the tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up at the table anymore.

Where would that leave the rest? Unfortunately, most taxing authorities anywhere cannot seem to grasp this rather straightforward logic!

Unfortunately, the author is unknown and I was reminded of it from a post in the forums

## 6 thoughts on “How Taxes Really Work”

1. Nigel says:
2. Yes, that is where I linked “author is unknown”

3. Erik says:

No, this isn’t how it would work. When the tax reduction is put into play, it would be as a “credit” which would pay the first four \$3 each, the fifth and sixth \$2 and the seventh, eighth and nighth \$1.33 each, and the tenth would receive no more HOWEVER… due to the increased paperwork, the tenth would have to pay his tax accountant more so he ends up loosing anyway.

4. Tom says:

Actually, if we’re really modeling the tax system, the richest guy, while paying \$59 of the original check, has a guy whose only job is to find each and every coupon and deal the restaurant offers and gets a large chunk of the money right back. The second and third richest guys don’t have a guy to find _all_ the coupons, but they can find a few, reducing their cost somewhat. The coupons don’t help the rest of the guys, as all the coupons are of the form “take X off your portion of the bill that is greater than \$5”.

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