Taxes & Quotes

funny tax quotes

One of the joys (see sarcasm dripping
all around) of living in a foreign
country is that you get to do taxes
twice. While Japanese tax forms are
not near as complicated as taxes in
the US, the simplicity factor is
completely erased because… they’re
in Japanese!
. I struggled with them
until 4:00 AM so I’m a bit sleep
punchy today and I needed a few
laughs to get me through the
process. Here are a 10 tax quotes
for all of you that are still getting
your taxes in order

1. “I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.” – Michael McShane

2. “Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids.” – Harvey Mackay

3. “There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.” – Dan Bennett

4. “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is–I could be just as proud for half the money.” – Arthur Godfrey

5. “Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?” – Peg Bracken

6. “Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.” – Jay Leno

7. “If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead — if you strike oil.” – J. Paul Getty

8. “On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.” – Tom Lehrer

9. “What’s the difference between a tax auditor and a rottweiler? A rottweiler eventually lets go.” – anonymous

10. “It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.” – Dave Barry

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3 Responses to Taxes & Quotes

  1. ~Dawn says:

    8. “On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

  2. Heh. I absolutely love #1.

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